Monday, October 09, 2006

Words of Friendship

I always used to wonder why I was so attracted to the way the Americans communicated in real life and in reel life.

Think, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Everwood and 7th Heaven.

On the other hand I was pretty distant from Asian films and tv shows, even local ones.

The Reason:

The words that the Americans use are empowering, encouraging and deep-reaching into our sub-consciousness. They comfort their friends, talk about the big things in life, their dreams, values, beliefs and ideas which come across their heads. Their intention is to show each other and remind themselves time and again how great Life can be.

That's why I have been so sub-consciously wanting to model after their speeches, their words, phrases, quotes, intentions and even body language. I want to the pillar of support and constant reminder to my friends that Life is so beautiful; they should only venture towards their dreams, examine how their present work can serve them in their life and that its more than studies and work. The values and beliefs that our country's government inevitably imposes on us doesnt have to be ours; we are different, not all of us want to be Financially Successful or be Accomplished with a financially promising degree.

That's what I love about the Americans: they talk about ideas, beliefs, values and Life itself.
I know there are those gossipers, paparazzi and what nots, and that is the beauty: you get to choose what you want to believe and lead your life with in the US!

Asians? Just seems that they are so deep into their conservative culture and they escape into other people's lives: gossiping about them, talking about how some other people annoyed them the other day...

When it comes to talking about beliefs and values, they want to say the Right Thing, some in a fear to hurt others; but thats just selling his friends out. Americans, well at least the ones I admire, speak from their heart, sometimes undeniably hurting their friends but deep down inside he knows he's doing this to help his friend to change for the better; and he helps all the way (unlike quite a number of Singaporeans I know who give up halfway because its too difficult or 'can't help him much')! Human beings exist to help one another out; thats part of our grand purpose too; to help the ignorant, the helpless and our next generation.

Thus, the new me:

Since oh so young, i've always been conditioned to speak in a certain way. Brainwashed with having to be 'Polite', I was trained to say please and thank you. However, the Asian culture of not offending another person became so strong in me that every word I say, even until now, is watched under my breath and this intense fear that the person might not 'like' me if I said something offensive. All that fear to displease someone... bleah. If he's pissed at me without finding out why I said it, then screw him.

Suddenly, after watching the 2nd episode in the 4th season of One Tree Hill, it seems so easy to speak to someone I might not know well and have not built rapport with:

Just speak the plain truth & facts, your strongest beliefs and values, in plain, simple english. The Milton model is also a brilliant way to persuade someone to change.

Just speak from your Heart, not your mind; not the "right thing", the least "offensive thing", or the "nicer thing" to please in a bid to please someone, instead of enlightening him. You Heart will tell you what to say, how to say, if you mean well.

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